it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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