I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
