I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
