He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
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Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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