Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
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When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize