he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
