not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
