The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
