it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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