Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
