I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize