You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Randomize
