So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize