He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
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If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize