I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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