I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.