if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I look better un-naked...
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.