it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
