Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
