My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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