like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
