I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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