i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
two words...techno handjob
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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