Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
