Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
