Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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