Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
