u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
