Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
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