JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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