I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
This baby is an asshole
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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