What did we do last night that was yellow?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
