bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I got inside last night via doggy door
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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