just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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