you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
