Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
