do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
