This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
