Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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