Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Randomize
