You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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