yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I smell stomach acid.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
