yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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