HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
