I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
