Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
