Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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