i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
