toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize
