I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
