I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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