Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
