she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
