it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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