if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.