Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?