If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.