I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??