I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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