I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
