So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize