Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
