Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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