$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Randomize
