He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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